Ant-ipathy

My ant antipathy is magnified today...

Whilst as a child I spent hours in the garden feeding the cute little hard working insects grains of sugar and watching them carry it back to their lair (ant-enabler), my peace and love tendancies were sorely tested as I opened the pantry this evening to watch a great dirty clan of them working cooperatively together (as they do) dragging the entire container of sugar across the shelf, down the wall and out the back door.

Not even a thank you note, or a token coin donation.

Antics!

Despite my aversion to killing all creatures great and small (except cockroaches, but only because they are amassing a great stash of nuclear weapons and plotting the downfall of humanity, and because they can live for 7 days without a head <<shudder>>), for the past few weeks I had aggressively responded to my antfestation with a couple of pretty little self- contained ant baits in the hope they would get the message and move along. I mean at that time there was the occasional few sightseers checking out the lay of the land, not the colony of settlers looking for new places to build their McMansions.

But no, as I went outside to check the mail and removed the charity envelope with the free purple socks and pen ('Guilt You Into Donating Gifting'), I was surprised to see yet another mass of ants scurrying around carrying their eggs. It was a veritable matern-anty ward! Sorry ants but my public liability insurance doesn't cover medical mishaps and I certainly don't want to be dealing with scraping your tiny dots of afterbirth from letters - even if they are mostly electoral pamphlets that deserve desecration. I mean just what kind of party were you all having to produce so many off-spring in such rapid succession?

Miscre-ants!

No more Ms Nice Lady...

It's a White Christmas for you tonight and rest assured, there will be carols...

Sil-ant Night no doubt...