top of page

Health Food


That moment the shop assistant serves you up a great big helping of airborne virus with your bread. Yep, she hacked up half a lung (possibly a fur-ball judging by the sound of it) into her hand and then proceeded to use said hand to open the bag and slide my freshly sliced chia-seed loaf into it.

Oh God...I hate confrontation, but what to do?

I have a deep-seated aversion to germs - I always order my coffee in a take-away cup, the thought of all of those strangers' lips on my cup makes me shudder.

For years I avoided going to the cinemas, greasy heads and smelly bodies on the vinyl seats, and then there was that time I was trapped in the ladies' facilities at the airport for 25 minutes because there were no paper towels to use to open the exit door and no one opened it to come in!

Once I almost tripped an elderly lady over in a department store bathroom as I thrust my foot (fully enclosed in a germ-protective boot) into the bottom of the door to stop it closing!

Dilemma!

Should I just flee from the store whilst her back is turned? Should I pay for the loaf and toss it into the bin on the way back to my car (where I keep the hand sanitiser)?

Nope, obviously suffering from the lingering effects of the full moon I asked her 'Um, sorry but did you just cough into my hand and then put my bread into a bag with it?'

I went red, she went red and very apologetically said 'Oh no, sorry I went like this' <<coughs into arm>>

'Oh I'm sorry' I mumbled, feeling dreadful.

This young lady was so polite and gracious, I felt even more dreadful - she had been obscured by the stack of loaves...and she was very convincing, but still...

I slunk off with my purchase.

Perhaps I'll stick to fruit salad for breakfast tomorrow...

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Classic
  • Twitter Classic
  • Google Classic
bottom of page